Bullying

Recently one of my grandsons was bullied in school.  It was not a one time event. The bully had been bullying him from the start of school.  My grandson had an open dialog at home about it and seemed to be working through his personal issues of being treated poorly.  He was enjoying going to public school instead of homeschooling and wanted to continue.

The bully then knocked him to the floor and was beating on him in class.  The teacher had to pull the bully off of him and sent them to the office.  Somehow the bully took one of my grandsons notebooks with violent drawings and actually taunted him that now he would be in more trouble than the bully.

My grandson has been expelled until 7th grade or he completes an in patient therapy program.  My daughter walked through all the steps ordered by the principal.  Mental Health professionals told her that he did not do anything that warrants in patient treatment.

While walking through all of this and having other parents and counselors reach out to her begging her to fight because they had all been bullied out of the school as well she had to put this fight on hold to deal with another flaming arrow Satan had pointed at their family.  I wanted to pick up this fight and run but have learned that is not as helpful to my children as it feels like it is to me.

This school has now expelled another student for the pictures he made and we realize that we have to keep fighting.  We have to bring change to this school district.  My daughter has returned to homeschooling with an amazing program that they will continue and not put my grandsons back into this school- but we can’t let others be bullied out!

As we’ve begun sending letters out to the school board and now have sent letters to the State Board of Education concerning the poor bullying training in this district a local newspaper wrote a story and included a portion of what my daughter wrote:  “You got it wrong today. You got it wrong when overnight a suspension turned into expelling a student – a student who was pantsed, shoved into a wall, and shoved over/into his desk. You sent home the victim – the kid being picked on.”

Thankfully the community has stepped forward.  Enough of them read this story and want to help create the change!  They are setting up meetings and discussing programs, fundraising and such!  It is such a relief!  In this violent angry world we live in- we must address bullying from all angles!  Yes these pictures are possible warning signs- but why are the kids drawing these pictures?  They are being bullied- if we don’t help the bullies have empathy for other, help the bystanders find their voice and strengthen the victims we are not going to stop horrible violent acts from manifesting!

Be the change you want to see in the world!  Recognize wrongs and stand for the silent!  Do not allow injustice to prevail!

My daughters blog is:  https://perceptionsby1.com/

 

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Texting Etiquette??

I have to admit that I am old.  Communication and the way we do it has changed many times in my lifetime.  While I am a Grandma, and even a Great Grandma I do text.  I text on a daily basis.

I remember when my oldest granddaughter began texting.  I was always after her for poor spelling and grammar.  Hence she rarely texts me anymore.  I am saddened by this but I do feel strongly that etiquette should be taught to each of us.

Recently I sent a text to a relative that I had not ever texted.  Instead of assuming she would know who was on the other end of that strange phone number I started my text like this:  Hi (Name), This is Rebecca, (Regina’s Mom) yadda, yadda, yadda.  I would have done the same thing if I had called this person- or written them an email or snail mail- so why shouldn’t it be done in a text?

Recently I received a text from a person requesting work through our delivery business.  It was vague and the person assumed I would know exactly who they were.  Well I have two clients with the same name and as Murphy’s Law demands I went to the wrong client.

I do understand how and why people text the way they do- I am simply writing in hopes of pulling some of them out of their self absorbed world and change the way they send a text.  First- if you are not texting EVERYDAY with someone do not assume that they know exactly who you are or what you want.  Take the time to say- This is (NAME).  Second- reread your text before you hit send!  Some of the auto correct features make text messages undecipherable.  Which means that now you will be exchanging several texts to clear up confusion.  Third- if you are using text messages to do business- please be respectful of the times you are sending them!  Honestly a text at 3 AM is just downright rude!

I know each of us are busy!  I know text messages are a quick way to get something done!  But they are quicker and more efficient if you identify yourself, proof read your text and last but not least make sure it isn’t in the middle of the night!

 

Mom’s make mistakes- It is OKAY!!

I’ve pondered many things posted in my last blog and keep coming back to why didn’t I help my oldest daughter when she was floundering?  Why didn’t I help my youngest daughter overcome the discomfort of being in our home?  There were many reasons that lead up to my failure to help my children.  I am sharing my personal insights in hopes that it will help someone struggling and make their life a little more simple.

When God blessed me with these beautiful baby girls I was certain God picked the wrong person.  They were so perfect.  I was so inadequate.  How could I ever be good enough to be their Mother.  I believed that I was evil and undeserving of anything good.  While I wasn’t diagnosed with mental illness until many years later I believe my mental illness began when I was forced to have an abortion when I was only 16 years old.

It is interesting as I write this blog- I have believed as long as I can remember that each and every child born is a gift from God.  I believe that God blesses the unions of people with a child.  But in my own life I thought God made a mistake.  He didn’t bless me- he cursed these babies by placing them with me.  That is one of the things I learned thru my mental health counseling.  I do not know if others who suffer from mental illness turn things around like that, but I do.  When my mind begins to degrade me, I’ve finally learned to grab that thought and rebuke it.

2 Corinthians 10:5 (KJV)

 Casting down imaginations, and every high thing that exalteth itself against the knowledge of God, and bringing into captivity every thought to the obedience of Christ;

From 1985 through 1999 I felt as thought I was a fake.  I didn’t know how to be a Mom.  Most of everything I did was best guessing at what I thought a good parent would do.  I did not have an example in my life to mimic and improve on.  I did the opposite of what I had done to me as I grew up and without having my identity in Christ I didn’t know if I was doing anything right.  So I felt I was a fraud.

We were arrested on Nov 19, 1999.  I have blogged and written lots about this so I urge you to look through my blog for the details on the arrest if you are interested in that.  What I figured out while pondering my last blog was that with FELON written in neon lights over my head I no longer could pretend anymore.  Now everyone knew how bad and evil I was.

So I gave up my job of being the mother of two beautiful perfect daughters.  They deserved better than me.  They are better than I am.  I have no right to tell them what to do.  I was arrested in front of them.  I had to plan on them living with someone other than me.  I was by own judge, jury and executioner.

It is the biggest mistake I made.  I let them down.  No one ever told me, Mothers make mistakes.  Bad things happen in life.  God doesn’t give up on us.  He chose us.  We are valuable to God- every single one of us is valuable.

Luke 12:7 KVJ  But even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. Fear not therefore: ye are of more value than many sparrows.

It was through this devastating event that I began to find my identity in Christ.  I wish I had found my identity before I became a mother.  I would have done a much better job.  More importantly I would have not given up.  To my daughters, I apologize for quitting when you needed me the most.  I am so proud of each of you.  You’ve grown up to be amazing young mothers, ladies, sisters, friends, daughters, Christians, business owners and more.  I pray for your strength and wisdom every day.

Satan is working hard every minute of every day to destroy people, families and life as we know it.  He knows our weaknesses and he uses every trick possible to break each and every one of us.  He succeeded in my life for a little while.

I am grateful for the angels in our lives.  There were so many seen and unseen that helped in numerous ways.  Some brought food.  Some brought encouragement.  Others brought bibles and insisted on studies.  Others brought our family into a church and held our hands through countless emergencies.  There were many people who dropped us like hot potatoes but God brought better people into our lives and helped us.  God I apologize to you and ask for your forgiveness that I didn’t recognize it sooner.  Thank you God for loving this weird little family so much you didn’t give up even when I did.

So to you Mothers and Fathers out there, brothers, sisters, friends, okay- to EVERYONE!!  Life gets rough sometimes- but don’t give up.  Keep reaching for the stars until you find God and then keep reaching so that you will have your own relationship with the Creator of this amazing world!  Even when you get knocked down- don’t give up.  If you can’t fight back, let someone fight for you.  Angels, keep up the good work.

Matthew 25:23  New International Version
“His master replied, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant! You have been faithful with a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Come and share your master’s happiness!’