No More Decisions today, please.

Recently our family went through a terrible tragedy.  It landed one of our daughters in the hospital 24/7 caring for her son.  While he received excellent care we are not the type of people who can leave a loved one in the hospital alone while we go take care of food, showering and such.

We’ve had many conversations about those days in the hospital.  I am grateful I was able to be there for her to run the ‘Ronald McDonald’ floor and get a shower in.  I am extremely grateful for all of the help she received from her extended family, church family and friends.

One of ways that could possibly help others in the future is instead of asking “What can I do?” or “What can I bring you to eat?”  During times of crisis the people we are trying to help are so busy making life and death decisions that asking them to make more decisions is crippling.  It is more helpful to say- Can I bring you Mexican food or a Chicken dinner?  A choice is easier to make than a decision.  Instead of “What can i do to help?”  Say I am driving by your house- can I feed the animals? or I will be near the hospital today- can I bring you clean clothes?  Each of us has different relationships with the people going through the crisis- so offer what type of help you are capable of giving, instead of giving them yet another decision to make.

We are so grateful our crisis ended with healing and to witness the power of God always leaves me awestruck.  We serve a mighty God who loves us endlessly that is still moving the mountains in our lives.  Thank you to all of the kind loving people who reached out and helped our daughter and her family.



By Troy Dunn – 4 Good Reasons to Hit a Woman

4 Good Reasons For A Man To Hit A Woman by Troy Dunn
Lately, there has been much discussion about violence against women by the men in their life. Many have said there is never a good reason for a man to strike a woman but I disagree and today I am speaking out! I have six sons and I have taught them what my father taught my brothers and I: there are four good reasons for a man to hit the woman he loves;
1. Fire. If you look over at the woman you love and discover flames have overtaken your girl, you should absolutely knock her to the ground and start rolling her around.
2. Spider. If your princess discovers a spider wandering across her shoulder and with sheer terror in her voice says “GET. IT. Off! You should smack that 8 legged sucker right off of her.
3. Choking. If over dinner she begins to laugh at another one of your amazingly funny stories and in the process, lodges a bit of her steak in her throat, you have my full support to yank her out of her chair, spin her around and start squeezing her beneath her rib-cage until she spits up!
4. Train. If, while enjoying a peaceful, after dinner walk with your lover, you notice she has wandered into the path of a quickly approaching oncoming train, by all means, grab her by her arm and like the strong man you are, yank her backwards aggressively.
Absent the presence of fire, spiders, choking or trains, dad taught us boys there is never, ever, ever, ever, ever a justifiable reason for a man to strike a woman. Period. He said real men don’t do it. He then added this important definition about being a ‘real man’ which I want to share with all men today;
“Real men don’t allow other men to hit women either.”
I call upon my brothers-in-manhood everywhere to join with me in ZERO TOLERANCE for violence against women. Don’t hit and don’t tolerate hitting. That woman you see getting abused by her “man”, at the club or in the parking lot or even, oh let’s say, an elevator; intervene. Put yourself between the abuser and the victim. Is that dangerous? Could be. But it’s what a real man would do. Always remind yourself when you witness violence on a woman- that is somebody’s mother, daughter or sister.

My garden is blooming!

I have spent many seasons of my life feeling dead and unfruitful but my seasons have changed now.  This year lots of things have withered and left my life which has been like the seed pod falling off, sleeping, reseeding and blooming in such wonderous ways it is hard to describe. I feel a fountain welling up inside of me, ready to flow out and bless others.

I reached out to set up having a tea party for a dear friend of mine.  I thought if the cafe would agree to the party they would fill the place with other ladies who enjoy tea parties.  It turns out that they thought I would provide the ladies and they would provide the food and tea.  But they did not have teapots or teacups.

Originally I was going to shop around and find teapots that I would let them use, since I have no teapots myself.  I did not think it possible for me to afford to provide 32 teacups so decided to just worry about teapots and we would use their coffee cups.  I received a call from one of the ladies coming who invited another lady whose mother wanted to come and loan teapots!  What a blessing because I had failed in finding any teapots, getting so busy trying to fill all the seats!!   Then the kind lady I was trying to bless with setting this up offered up teapots and I knew this was going to be a joint effort the culminated in lots of ladies being blessed.

I called “Kinkie” and set up to meet her.  We sat at her kitchen table and she told me the stories of her teapots.  One was a wedding present and others came from great friends and family throughout the years.  I did not get to see her special teapot.  The one she bought for her foster mother with the first paycheck she earned.  She retrieved it back when her foster mom passed away.  She kindly said she would not have sent it for this tea party, it was too special to chance it breaking.  But one of her daughters told her she would like to have a teapot.  She wrapped it up with tears and sent it to her.  Her husband told her she didn’t have to give it away, especially since she was crying.  Her daughter opened it when she received it and called crying.  She told her mom, I said I wanted ‘a teapot’ not ‘the teapot’.  They cried together so happy that the teapot had a new home, loved and held close to the heart of the next generation.

Kinkie and I talked about ladies, finishing school and love this afternoon.  Then Kinkie asked me if there were teacups for the tea party.  I said not this one.  The cafe does not have any and if this party goes well we may invest in tea cups for other teas.  She then showed me her teacups and asked me to please take them and use them.  I said Kinkie, they are beautiful and we can not replace them if something happens to them.  I can’t take your sets.  I can make sure the teapots get back to you but fine china cups, I am too clumsy let alone a room full of people.  She then said to me words that filled me deeply and made me want to pour out for others.

She said most of these have been given by a friend.  When they come over we sit over tea while I encourage them in whatever they are going thru.  We can NOT have a tea party without tea cups!  Tea in coffee cups just won’t do!!  If a cup or two get broken I will not be bothered at all.  I insist you take them and allow them to make your party a success!  I will get so much joy from seeing them being used and making people happy.  She told me, my daughter said no Mom, they are too precious I don’t want you to loan them out.  Kinkie told her daughter, they are a cup and a saucer- if one less there is no matter.  The only thing I don’t want to live without is my children.  We wrapped cups and saucers together as she told me stories about her life.  The outpouring of love I received this afternoon has bloomed something deep within me.  I will be returning her cups, saucers and teapots as soon as the tea is over.  I will be blessed to put each one up in its spot for her to share with another stranger or friend.

I pray I am able to pour love, friendship and kindness out to each and every person tomorrow as well as Kinkie poured them into me today.  May God reign over our tea tomorrow and smile.